Sorry it has been so long since my last update. This is due mainly to the fact that I have not been up to much lately and the Internet here continues to be spotty.
The other week I was in Arusha with the other MCC team-members for meetings and a little break from our positions. It was so great to reconnect with familiar faces and be able to spend a few days not sweating continuously! I made good use of my free time there by drinking iced coffee, eating ice cream and buying ripped DVDs where each disc has about 15 different movies. I figure that will keep me entertained for a while, even if some of the movies are terrible quality or have Chinese subtitles… One night I even made brownies (thanks to my wonderful mom who sent the mix) with Cara, which was such a treat!
The meetings that we had together went well, and it really helped me to reflect on what I am doing here. To be honest these past few months have been really hard on me, mostly because I haven’t really been involved with much at work. It’s been difficult reasoning why I should travel such a long distance every day when I end up doing nothing significant at work… I’m afraid that I have lost a lot of motivation and have been questioning the significance of my service.
I talked with the MCC staff a little about my challenges and how I feel like I am not contributing much, so they are going to re-evaluate my position. I might end up relocating somewhere for last months, or if I stay here in Dar they are going to make sure that I have something to keep busy with. I’m not sure what this will lead to, but I’ll be sure to update more when I find out.I think I am realizing that serving for only one year I will not be able to “change the world” like Phil Dog (SPU’s President) inspired all of us SPU students to do (I think I am definitely “engaging the culture” though). I am seeing that my time here will end up changing me more than anyone/ anything else, and this has been hard for me to admit since I came here to “serve others.” As challenging as it is to live and work here, I know I will be grateful for the experiences I am having but it will be a lot easier to fully respect this afterwards! Thanks everyone, for your support and encouragement:)